I Hate Seattle

The Punishers and "The Bag"

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I'm as angry tonight as I have ever been, almost. But it ends in tears of frustration and feeling hurt every time.

A woman started to cut in line at lunch, and I started to call her on it, but abandoned the idea. She kept an icy stare at me, so I looked at her. She said "Would you like to go ahead?" I accepted, since I was feeling faint from not eating. Then she punished me the whole wait in line. She really got creative w/ it, for a Seattleite.

Then this evening I bought a $75 comforter at Target in Factoria. Too late to notice, I got the checkout guy who fought me on not giving me a bag a few weeks ago. "It's just a bag" I said. He tried to put my new towel in my takeout bag from the Greek place. I yelped "Hey, there's food in there." He made a big deal of looking into my big purse, as if there was room. He had this Ted Bundy psycho smile the whole time.

Tonight he didn't bag up the comforter. I asked for one. He said "There's a handle". He continued to fight me even after I said I might have to get the manager, after all, it's just a bag that costs maybe 1/100th of a cent (it was the cheap bags). The checkout girl across the way stared. The customer behind me stared, like how dare you insist? It wouldn't fit in a bag finally, so they all exchanged superior smirks. I hated that typical white, upper middle income middle-aged streak blonde bitch behind me.

When I got done paying, he got even more -manic smile, and left the comforter on the counter and looked at me and gestured with his head and said "Go on. There it is". Bold as shit. The lady behind me smiled.

I went up front to talk to a manager and got stalled by two little girls, then the asst. manager, a big blonde hoss was so passive agressive. They wouldn't give me a complaint form, said they were all out. I started to leave, but she challenged with mean eyes "We don't have bags to fit that, sorry", like she wanted to start something. I said "You know it isn't about the bag". Ironically the bag broke when I pulled it off the counter. She did put it in another single bag. I had her doublebag it.

So I thought damn, and I started to write out a note but their pen wouldn't work on the formica counter and I asked them for a backing and they just stared and didn't move a muscle.

I ended up throwing the pen, screaming and cursing and I was in really a blind rage, because I'm sick of putting up with it. I told her I was angry because she had treated it like easy come, easy go. She said "I apologize, I'm really sorry that that's the way you perceived it." I said "Why don't you just apologize for doing it?" She said "You have a nice day". I can't take it anymore. Stupid, nasty, mean people, always challenging me at the get-go, and they're like dog with a bone. They never let go, until they've worn you down and/or someone's going to jail/hospital.

Even reading this, I can't describe the way it was. How pleased she seemed, feigning surprise at the same time. They're always so confident, like they know they'll be backed up here.

I have an accent, it's not like their goose honk ugly accent. So they know I'm not from here. I know that's part, if not all, of it.

Posted by heartbroken almost 8 years ago in psycho smile, more environmental than you are, breaking in line - Permalink

P.O.W. CAMP SEATTLE 2009 the series (A quinn martin production)

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Opening scene:
Nickels the huge gasbag prison manager is sitting at his desk eating. A prison guard enters the room.

Nickels: What seems to be the problem now (burp)?

Guard: Well, the new prisoners from other states are putting up a lot of resistance.

Nickels: (goes and sits on the toilet continuing to eat) Oh yeah? How so?

Guard: Well, they refuse to stop bathing; they sneak into the showers in the middle of the night to bathe, sir, and they have soap hidden everywhere.

Nickels: Well that's not very nice.

Guard: They refuse to report on each other.

Nickels: (Picking at an infected old tattoo) That's not good (burp).

Guard: And...sir? Sir? Please don't walk off while I'm still talking to you.

Nickels: You're not from here, are you, son?

Guard: I've lived here 25 years, sir.

Nickels: Yeah, but your grandpappy wasn't born here. What else have they done?

Guard: Well, the mind control doesn't seem to be working on them very well.

Nickels: You mean that after all the spirit-killing shunning by true Seattleite Blood Folk, the constant darkness, being mistrusted, shut out of the job market, shitty food, unsanitary conditions and that persistent long, note A flat that we play out of the air raid sirens, that they still aren't cooperating? (blows nose on sleeve)

Guard: No, sir. I mean yeah, they aren't.

Nickels: Well, then son....give 'em a head start and we'll gun them down in the streets. That'll show them for trying to live here and breathe. And pollute our in-bred gene pool.

The scene closes with a disgusting array of Broadway Capitol Hill losers coming in to give Nickels a massage with Teriyucki Oil.

Posted by heartbroken almost 8 years ago in mind control, filth, cruelty - Permalink

Six questions for Seattlelites who travel

Default-member

So here's my questions for locals when they travel (they apparently travel a lot):

1. Do you get the reaction that people think you're nice but look at you strangely because they also think you're a dim bulb or nitwit?

2. Do people stare at your all-over body tattoos, nose ring and dayglo streaks in your gray hair (not terribly common in 55 year olds)?

3. Do people ask you where you are from, and then ask you if your house is on a dirt road?

4. Do people move away from you because when you're talking you are in fact YELLING and everyone can hear each word of what you are saying and are not so interested in learning the details of your UTERINE SCAR REMOVAL?

5. Do people ask you to go home or back to wherever your were SPAWNED when you relieve yourself from any orifice at will in public?

6. Do people look aghast as you French kiss your dainty dobermann?

Posted by Tom almost 8 years ago in loud, stupid, dirty, fat, vulgar - Permalink

proper sidewalk use

Superloop_square

i have a question, and maybe someone who has lived here longer can answer it for me: where am i supposed to walk? no, i'm serious. you see, i walk on the sidewalk and joggers of every size shape and level of stinkiness not only come running directly at me, but they do so while staring me down until i've crammed myself into the shrubbery so they may pass without having to deviate from the perfectly straight line that must be essential for proper running form. i would jump toward the street but that's where the bike lane is- and that is a place more dangerous than the nascar track. you see, "bike lane" is a regional idiom. it's actual meaning is closer to what people elsewhere call "the tour de france." cyclists in this lane are not just commuting from place to place, they are racing against the world, God and ball-stealing-cancer. don't even think about stepping into this area. well, not unless there is a bike on the sidewalk. you see, people in seattle are so much more open minded and intelligent than the rest of the country that they have discovered the bicycle functions on both the street AND the sidewalk! you can see how this would be very exciting! but don't worry- they keep it cool. someone in another city might ride on the sidewalk, their eyes wide with surprise, making lots of noises like "yipee" and "look at me!" but not here. when seattle folk are barreling down the sidewalk on their fixed gears they are so relaxed you'd swear their eyes were closed! and quiet? oh you wouldn't even know they were there if they didn't make those disgusted grunts when they are about to knock you ass-over-tea-kettle. anyway, it sure is nice being in a city so active and free that people routinely risk each other's health in order to maintain their own. i've learned a lot here! except for one thing: where am i supposed to walk?

Posted by superloop almost 8 years ago in joggers, bicycles - Permalink

first impressions, style-wise

Heartbroken_square

My first couple days here, working in the corporate headquarters of a worldwide company, I noticed that my co-workers were dressed like they were broke. "But wait" I thought, "I'm making good money, so aren't they?" But it wasn't just that...the colors they chose were oatmeal, chipboard, pond scum...I didn't get it. And friends, I still don't get it. Yet they made faces at my shoes, my signet ring and every personalization item in my cube. It was as if they were joy killers.

When I left my city back east, tattoos were out, as well as face piercings. They had been out for a couple of years or more and people had stopped talking about them long before that. The talk was more leaning towards fishing around for advice about tattoo removal and The Cool having barely perceptible holes in their face where a piercing had been.

After 2 years here, I still find it not only gross but laughable to see a Seattle sausage chick in a sundress, with a tramp stamp on one leg that's all blurry like a prison tattoo. And they're working downtown in offices or pushing babycarts. Former life ewww. Mommyz got hepC. I think it's kind of like leaving your dildo out in the living room when guests come over.

Posted by heartbroken almost 8 years ago in climbing out on limb, sawing it off, regret, style - Permalink

you wish you were this cool

Superloop_square

yesterday i was in capitol hill, trying to find a post office open on saturday. while walking on broadway i stopped just short of a head-on-collision with a MASSIVE pile of dog poop. "Holy christ!" i jumped to avoid it and stared in shock... from the edge of the sidewalk i chirped "Look out!" as throngs of hipsters continued on- right on through the dog sh**. i stood there confused for a few seconds, awkwardly warning people, waiting for someone to acknowledge that a) there was a 2 pound dog turd on the side walk and b) i was trying to stop them from walking through it. no one did. that is how cool capitol hill people are... they can walk through excrement without breaking stride- or making eye contact.

Posted by superloop almost 8 years ago in capitol hill - Permalink

Killer Police

Default-member

Just for the record --- the King County police cornered an unarmed man in Everett yesterday and shot him dead. A sad woman on the news last night said it was 'senseless'.

King County and Seattle to the public: BFD.

Posted by Tom almost 8 years ago in police killing, police brutality - Permalink

Can't make it...

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"Sorry I can't come to your house for dinner next week, I have to wash the dishes." - actual paraphrased email

Posted by erock almost 8 years ago in social life in seattle - Permalink

things i've learned from people in seattle

Superloop_square

1) you don't actually have to be homeless to smell like a homeless person.

2) why wear clothing when you can wear gear? running gear, walking gear, cycling gear... whenever i see someone who looks put together it turns out they are going to or coming from work. that's their job-gear.

3) tattoos should be like beer promos on sports apparel: big, ugly and there only to make an otherwise good thing look cheap.

4) age is irrelevant. today i saw a grown woman working at a bakery wearing the exact same hoody as the 4 year old i babysit. cartoon character and all.

5) servers in restaurants don't want you to tip them. they also don't want you to speak to them, and really would prefer that you not come into the restaurant at all. k thanks.

6) there is nothing funny about anything.

7) people get pierced like it's their tic.

Posted by superloop almost 8 years ago in piercings, tattoos, body odor, clothing - Permalink

craigslist woman

Superloop_square

i moved to seattle a couple days ago, and my first day i found THE perfect couch on craigslist. it was exactly what i wanted and it had just been posted! i called, told the woman my name and phone number, where i was and how much i loved the couch.
me: "i'm getting in the car now and going to an atm. i'll be at your house in 25 minutes- is that okay with you?"
she said yes, and i was there in less than 20.
me: "hi i'm outside your house- green one right?"
her: "the couch has been sold. i just sold it to this guy."
me: "what? but... but i drove straight here and i just spoke with you less than 20 minutes ago..."
her: "well it's gone. craigslist is whoever gets here first. tough luck." *click*
i went nuts. i'm from chicago where people tell you shit to your face. i was standing outside her house and she didn't even have the decency to come to the door. not only this but in the car ride there i had gone on and on about how she sounded like the first nice person i'll have met in seattle. everyone had been rude. irate i started screaming obscenities (i'm a young cute girl so it's not like i'm scary), i even screamed at her neighbor who was gardening. "your neighbor in the green house is a F******* B****" was someone about to cut off her dick if she didn't give them 125$ in the next 10 minutes? does she owe money to the freaking mob? the funniest thing was as i yelled and cursed and called her by name NO ONE reacted! for a good 4 or 5 minutes i screamed and not even the neighbor gardening 20 feet away could be bothered to look at me! she just kept staring at her damn dirt like even it was above me. when i got home i tried to forget about it, and thought that i did. i went out drinking with a friend and had a bit too much... the next morning i realized between shots of jaegermeister and puking i had sent the couch woman about 25 text messages, basically repeating my obscene rant outside her house. there was only one message in my inbox: "i think you have the wrong number."
i didn't have the wrong number... she is just a rotten self-centered shrew.

Posted by superloop almost 8 years ago in craigslist, ignore, selfish, rude - Permalink

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