I Hate Seattle

Washington State Sucks!!


I figured it out. This is how you type cast residents of Washington state:

Take the characters from King Of The Hill. Make half of them meth addicts. Then, toss in some really fat people, and some super liberals, and boom! That's the vast majority of Washington people.

Think about it: Not everyone you meet is a meth head, but several of them are. The people who aren't meth heads are super liberal, really fat, or just kind of weird in a weird sort of way.

#fuckseattle I tell you what!

Posted by Michael 12 months ago in Errethang! - Permalink

30 year veteran of a Seattle.


Lived hear all my life. Maybe the Seattle freeze is real because I have no friends. My former best friend is now a tranny pornstar, what a fucking joke. This city is corny and full of the SWJs you read about. This city is has too many men. Every time I go out the men outnumber the women, and the women are usually hunched over looking at there phones. The weather sucks but it's still not add bad as people say. It gets good around mid to late spring and till mid September. The drivers suck. Tailgate you no matter which lane you're in. And they'll pass a bunch of cars in another just to squeeze in front of you and another car at 70 80 MPH. Nevermind all that space behind me where you easily could've merged in. Also this city lacks diversity. White people everywhere and moving into neighborhoods I grew in while my family gets scattered all over the place. I fucking hate it hear.

Posted by Aurelius1 about 1 year ago in My reasons why I want to leave. - Permalink

A theory about the rainy city


I grew up in a suburb south of Seattle, and spent most of my life living there. I'm 25, and I spent 4 years in Missoula, Montana and currently I've lived in Chicago for a year and a half. I would never, ever live in Seattle ever again. I hate Seattle without a smidgen of irony and I tell anyone who asks.

I've thought a lot about why Seattle is such a fucking awful place to live, and this is my theory. I won't reiterate the usual shit about the Seattle Freeze, traffic, yadda yadda. If you're on this website, you know the stereotypes, and by God they're true.

Seattle sucks because its only culture is capitalism (or commercialism, materialistic, bla bla). Relative to other big American cities like NY, Chicago, Miami, New Orleans, etc, it is pretty new. Nobody has roots here. Everything is up for the highest bidder.

For example, one of our city council members just ordered the Gum Wall in the Pike Place Market to be steam-cleaned, because it was gross, or unsanitary, or some stupid fucking shit. This is a public monument which people from all over the world have touched - a monument that wasn't planned by any fucking committee, or any fucking bureaucrat, or any fucking rich guy. Culture means NOTHING to us. Could you imagine if Ireland tore down the Blarney Stone? Nothing is sacred in Seattle, nothing is worthy of being preserved, it's all about money. The buildings are all post-WWII Levi-town bullshit. Since the left never had any sort of power here (liberals are not the left btw), there's no public transportation that is reliable or efficient (when I moved to Chicago, the subway was the biggest thing I talked about, it was a revelation for me). There's no sense of togetherness.

But don't blame Seattlites. Their coldness is a defense mechanism for the shitty world they were brought up in. A native Seattlite's biggest interaction with their culture is through school, which is one of the most alienating experiences I can imagine. The idea with the schools is that everyone has to be the same and no rule can ever be broken for any reason. When I tried to rough-house with my buddies in middle school, we got in huge trouble because we weren't interacting in a school-sanctioned way. Kids can't be kids - everyone must always follow the rules. You never matter, you're just a number in a spreadsheet to the state, and your teachers want to help but they can't because their hands are tied too. At the top of the shit heap is the rich, who hijacked education to build an army of loyal cronies--and their efforts have been wildly successful.

The rich control everything in Seattle, to a greater degree than most other big American cities, because capitalism is the only show in town. There's no history of union organizing, no churches to displace, nothing other than the First Nations peoples, who were decimated and exiled a long time ago. So the rich are the only show in town as far as power goes. And the rich do not care about anything except getting really rich.

You know how Bill Gates is from Seattle? You know how he's the richest guy in the world? Yeah, we did that. Gates fucked with my education, too. He has so much money and power that he can make "donations" to the cash-strapped education department and then have all the say about what happens. And of course, as a captain of industry, does he care about art, language, and culture? Fuck no! He wants obedient little workers that never, ever, EVER ask questions. So all through my life, I've endured his fucking awful programs, which always consist of finding new ways to divide, segregate, and alienate students from each other on the basis of shitty little standardized tests. I was always the new kid when I was growing up because of people like him. I had to bounce from school to school to school, and it was unbelievably difficult to make friends when everyone lives a half-hour away and there's no way to get around except asking your parents to give you a ride both ways.

Gates isn't the only one, of course. Now there's Jeff Bezos and his army of autistic sociopaths at Amazon. Their corporate culture is an absolute rejection of all human qualities, a laser focus on "the customer." Now the city is teeming with these little shits, and even the natives can't stand them. Now the traffic, which used to be okay, is absolutely fucking unbearable because Great Lord Bezos is annexing another block for his infernal business. The really sad part is that Seattle is probably the most appropriate place for such a culture.

The Seattle Freeze is there because everyone grew up in a hyper-class-segregated society. We're like the caste system in India. From when you are a baby, you are stuck into some kind of category, and nothing you do will let you out of it. At first it's the schools that do it, but eventually people do it to each other. So when you interact with someone else, you're constantly asking yourself: "Where does this person stand in relation to me? How much respect do I have to give them? Will my standing be threatened if I'm seen with them?" This is what our cliquishness looks like from the inside. It's easier to withdraw, and being alone is ultimately the safest thing unless you're a hyper-charismatic extrovert...which most people aren't.

And believe me, I know something about being alone. Bullying was vicious and merciless when I was growing up. I had almost no friends whatsoever, and even people who were my friends for a while would just disappear completely. When I moved to another state, being able to make friends was surreal for me. I had to change my personality a lot, because when you live in Seattle too long, you have to build a little fortress inside yourself. I still am building doors in that fortress, it's fucking hard to do, because all my life I've been conditioned to keep the drawbridge up. You can't let anyone in, because at any moment they could disappear; some big bureaucratic mechanism, like the free (HAHAHAHAHA) market, the government, or whatever the fuck else, will reach down and pluck them away from you, if they don't leave out of fear of being abandoned by you.

Seattlites are self-centered because everyone else will soon leave, if they haven't left already. You have to have a really vivid inner life if you're going to survive, because the outer is so bland and artificial. You have to have the ability to be alone, because in Seattle everyone is alone. It's just you and the big bad world - nobody will listen to you because they have their own little fortress too, and if they let you in you might break something. Seattlites are dogmatic because their dogmas are small comforts in their constant struggle to live happily in a world under the complete control of profit-seeking corporate dictators. They have to convince themselves everything is okay, because if they can't, then they want things to change. People while away their lives trying to make Seattle livable, but nothing can save it. Seattle is fucked in its DNA, and the rich will never let go of it. Trying to fight them is like trying to pop the tires of a tank. I'm done trying. I'd rather live somewhere where people have fun and care about each other.

Fuck you, Seattle.

Posted by burbranter about 1 year ago in - Permalink

There is light at the end of the tunnel!!


Where do I begin?
Well for starters, all this butt fuck traffic can go fuck itself. Been here since 2011 so it's been 5yrs. The first three weren't bad, met a great and fun girl, was going to school but then I lost interest in that. I was coming off a emotionally bumpy deployment and was needing time to heal. So I figured I'd go back into welding. No dice. Couldn't find a job to save my life, so went into the Mason's Union. Brutal work if you've never tried it. Money's not bad but it will beat you down. Couldn't hack that, too many loud and sudden bangs. Not good for PTSD sufferers. Ended up with a production planning job-never done that before, I'll give it a whirl. Fast forward 2016 sitting in a house that's mine and can't wait to sell it. Because I really need to get the fuck outta here. If I could sell this tomorrow id leave on Monday. Seriously. New owners can have the boat and the old Volvo. Titles are in em and keys in the ashtray. I'm soooo sick of this fuckin no talent hack doosh bag place. With their fake bagels and $4 donuts. What a joke-this place ain't progressive. It's totally broken and the weather sucks.

Going back east as soon as possible. Can't wait to tell my job to suck it and tell Bill W*** he's a fuckin dinosaur and should've been shitcanned years ago. Hey Rhode Island I'm on my way back, pour me a sams and save me a slice of that delicious $8 pizza. My girl (same girl as above:-) is there too. In a little house near the ocean.

Posted by Woodsie over 1 year ago in MOVING - Permalink

9 months of hell


This post can be split into two parts:

The first part is the annoying stuff that, while annoying, I could easily look the other way.

The second part is the heart of the matter: what the serious issues are with the city, but first, a little context.

My wife and I are from a mid-sized midwest city, which while being the butt of many jokes, is actually not too bad, as is currently undergoing a sort of reinvention of itself. Anyways, my wife and I decided for our honeymoon that we'd visit the Pacific Northwest (Portland and then Seattle), because we had fallen for the "marketing" that Seattle displays of itself as being this progressive, hip, ultra-cool place with wonderful people very tolerant of others. Needless to say, a honeymoon in Seattle was bad for this reason: due to the fact that we were elated that we were coming off of being married, we were overlooking massive red flags about that city.

Fast forward to about a year after our honeymoon, through a series of strange coincidences, I manage to find a good-paying travel nursing job to Seattle. After all of the bullshit to get my license there and that stuff, we had finally made the decision: "ok, we're doing this. We're moving there, because on our honeymoon it was AWESOME, and we didn't see any problems AT ALL :D :D :D". We packed up all of our shit, and our two cats, and made the 2500 mile drive in the middle of the winter, away from all of our friends and family - to build a new life out in Seattle.

Part 1 (The annoying, but ultimately tolerable stuff):

1 - Seattle hates cheese. Seriously, we come from an area of the country where cheese is considered sacred.
2 - Zero free chips and salsa: we come from a city where any mexican restaurant you go to, you can expect free chips and salsa as though it's a birth-rite, immediately after being seated.
3 - The food is generally quite bland and uninteresting, except for asian food and biscuits. Otherwise, the food is insanely expensive, and is largely tasteless.
4 - The parking ripoffs, everywhere. For example, we were paying 250/month for a surface lot, which was next to an Ethiopian church. As one of the rules for parking in that lot, we had to completely vacate the lot on Sundays, or risk our car being towed. That's right, we paid 250 a month to deal with that nonsense.
5 - The traffic - holy mother of fucking god. EVERYWHERE you go, and it doesn't matter if it's Sunday at 9pm, is a god damned nightmare. I don't believe we had ever gone above 60 in all 9 months we lived there, even if the highway was "clear" and there was no "reason" for traffic to be shitty, it was always shitty.

Part 2 (The real problem of the city, and why we couldn't wait to leave)

1 - It goes without saying, but the people. Bar none. Seattle is the most up-its-own-ass city in America. It's just full of rich autistic tech workers, and when you add that to a generally stand-offish culture, it's insane. There's simply no other way to describe what it's like to "interact" with Seattleites, without seeing it for yourself.
2 - The irony that everyone - and I do mean EVERYONE - complains about hating that city, but will simultaneously defend it, and angrily too. It's the ultimate in cognitive dissonance. Everyone is miserable, everyone will secretly confide to you that it's super shitty in all aspects, but if you as a new person, dare agree, you're literally Hitler.
3 - The utter lack of empathy and regard for others.
4 - My wife and I are very left on the political spectrum, and while it prides itself in being this liberal paradise, it's actually a glimpse into the hyper-capitalist nightmare vision of a dystopian future.
5 - No one, and I mean NO ONE gives a fuck about you, or your life, or where you come from, or anything. No one cares about you in the least. You're a nobody to anybody here. Coming from the Midwest, where the baseline is friendly, it's really hard to connect here, because no one gives a shit about you at all.A cartoon called Bojack Horseman put it best, when talking about LA, but is applicable to Seattle: "LA [Seattle] is a superficial town. No one cares who you are, or where you come from. They only thing they care about is what artisinal nuts they can get on their salad". That line is absolutely one hundred percent applicable to Seattle.
6 - Conversations in Seattle are like two or more people talking - for the lack of a better way of describing it - "towards" each other, not "to" each other. Again, it's really hard to explain in a concrete example. No one is actually talking directly to anyone, it's all sort of sound noises coming out of mouth holes, in the general direction toward another being with ear sound holes. So you'll be around town and in the chance that you hear people talking towards each other, the conversations sound disjointed and disconnected.
7 - The "war on drugs" has taken a definite cease-fire in Seattle. Holy shit, we'd never seen more OD'd people in 9 months than our entire lives in a mid-sized Midwest steel town which is still suffering from NAFTA and the global financial meltdown. People shooting up in the middle of the street in broad daylight. It was stunning to see, and is really depressing and makes you feel helpless and hopeless.
8 - Everyone is concerned about wind power - as long as it's not in the Sound. Everyone's all about caring for the poor - as long as they're over there, tucked away. Everyone's all about being green and living healthy lives, yet they smoke more than any city I've seen, while simultaneously scoffing at you for buying a burger. All around town are signs telling you to not idle your vehicle (which I agree with). But you can walk past any Seattle PD at any time of the day or night, and there are 6 cruisers out front idling all day long. There's just massive hypocrisy everywhere you go.
9 - Finally, there's kind of a funny metaphor about the rich and poor - it's not universally true, but is generally true, and it goes like this. Basically, on the top of most large hills in Seattle, you can expect to find the rich. Guess who you tend to find at the bottoms of these massive hills? The poor. It's a perfect metaphor for the rich looking down on the poor. Again, it's not 100% accurate, but is mostly true.

That's what I can think of for now, but there's far more. We have since moved back and couldn't be happier that we got out.

Posted by Bryan over 1 year ago in Everything - Permalink

Why I moved to Bellingham.


Seattle lacks culture due to all the neurotic, arrogant, immature, rule obsessed, passive aggressive, conformists who couldn't socialize or drive to save their lives...2 things people from Seattle really suck at are socializing & driving. However, they make up for it by excelling at unwarranted arrogance, passive aggressive immaturity, and ostracism of those who disagree with them or the "group" on the most insignificant of levels. One has to agree with the group 100% to be accepted in Seattle, not 99.9%. The excessive conformity & passive aggressive stupidity combined with the lack of social skills & any common sense has rendered the city of Seattle a large herd of bland boring sheep. I've found much of the state of WA to be like this. Vancouver, WA is one exception. Bellingham, something of an enclave, is another. Group-think does not seem to prevail in Bellingham like it does in Seattle. People in Bellingham can't drive, and they love rules too, but they are DEFINITELY more original, friendly, accepting, and laid back than anywhere else in the state. That's why I moved here, and will stay here...

Posted by Climbhood over 1 year ago in Seattle sociocultural - Permalink

I hate you Seattle


I hate everything about Seattle. How no one wears color, how no one speaks up if there is a problem- and then whines about it! I hate the Seattle freeze, I hate the bad drivers, I hate how white this damn city is. Seriously, wtf- I have never been around more white people in my life- and they all think they are culturally aware... yet they are all afraid of other ethnicities. Suck it douche bags. You are all conceded. The only people I have met that I actually like- are NOT from Washington State.

I can't wait to leave here. I will never return.

Posted by SuckitSeattle over 1 year ago in Everything - Permalink

Cold, and it's not the weather


I moved to Seattle a couple months ago because my boyfriend got a job at Amazon (I know, so typical). While there are positives - good pay, great apartment, nice part of town - I'm losing my marbles here.

I can't find a job to save my life. I have a Master's degree and experience and it feels like I'm expected to grovel for low paying entry level positions. Is this city that saturated with the spouses of programmers that there are no jobs left?

And then there's the social scene. *Groan* I've tried volunteering and even that has a wait list in this snotty city. I've never had social anxiety before moving here, but I think it's because it's not imagined - we're all being seriously judged. I feel like people roll their eyes at my SoCal bubbly demeanor, and the fact that I'm wearing color. Why doesn't anybody where color here?

In sum, I've been here for months, can't find a job or make friends and I've never had that happen in all my adult life and all the places I've lived. I feel like I'm turning into one of my cats! Seattle, you're cold and it's not the weather.

Posted by lepanda over 1 year ago in people, freeze, jobs - Permalink

Sneaking back into town


I suppose it's a good sign when it feels like I'm sneaking back into Seattle so I can arrange for the removal of my stuff to Montréal ...

If I didn't feel this way, I might get confused about my prospects and believe that I could enter into some sort of long negotiation that would inevitably lead to the same outcome, but only after several more years of dealing with all-too-typical Seattle (and Washington) crap.

Don't worry, Seattle denizens: I won't be making much of an effort to drop by and say hello to you lot.

Instead, I'll be making a much more concerted effort to avoid telling as many of you as possible to choke on a bag of Dick's, and that's only because I know the truth ...

Seattle's problem is that it can't eat just one bag of Dick's, and Seattle doesn't feel satisfied until enough Dick's has been consumed to choke a bull rhino.

But I don't want Seattle to choke on all the Dick's it can eat ...

I want Seattle to choke on all of the Dick's that it has.

Posted by Jones almost 2 years ago in - Permalink

Seattle Drivers


This is actually part of a comment I made to another post:

"Try to drive elsewhere, like you do here. Drive at least 10 mph under the speed limit in the left hand lanes. Exercise good sense & safety by implementing the art of brake checking should someone dare have the gall to follow, what you consider to be too close, while you needlessly drive under the posted limit. Make sure to give other motorists the finger if you don't like the way they're driving....also, make sure to do so immediately as you or they are making a turn. People elsewhere really do admire and respect passive-aggressive douchebaggery. Honk your horn a lot, especially when you feel affronted by other drivers....always let them know about your feelings of self righteous indignation....wear your emotions on your sleeve. These tactics won't only show how cool you actually are, it'll let everyone know you're not someone to be messed with. Not only will everyone love you, but no one will ever try to kick your ass or simply try to kill you. Ever."

It is very strongly recommended that you implement the above strategies particularly in CA, TX, FL, NY, Chicago, Atlanta, & Phoenix.

Posted by Climbhood almost 2 years ago in Advice for driving in other cities. - Permalink

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