I Hate Seattle

9 months of hell

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This post can be split into two parts:

The first part is the annoying stuff that, while annoying, I could easily look the other way.

The second part is the heart of the matter: what the serious issues are with the city, but first, a little context.

My wife and I are from a mid-sized midwest city, which while being the butt of many jokes, is actually not too bad, as is currently undergoing a sort of reinvention of itself. Anyways, my wife and I decided for our honeymoon that we'd visit the Pacific Northwest (Portland and then Seattle), because we had fallen for the "marketing" that Seattle displays of itself as being this progressive, hip, ultra-cool place with wonderful people very tolerant of others. Needless to say, a honeymoon in Seattle was bad for this reason: due to the fact that we were elated that we were coming off of being married, we were overlooking massive red flags about that city.

Fast forward to about a year after our honeymoon, through a series of strange coincidences, I manage to find a good-paying travel nursing job to Seattle. After all of the bullshit to get my license there and that stuff, we had finally made the decision: "ok, we're doing this. We're moving there, because on our honeymoon it was AWESOME, and we didn't see any problems AT ALL :D :D :D". We packed up all of our shit, and our two cats, and made the 2500 mile drive in the middle of the winter, away from all of our friends and family - to build a new life out in Seattle.

Part 1 (The annoying, but ultimately tolerable stuff):

1 - Seattle hates cheese. Seriously, we come from an area of the country where cheese is considered sacred.
2 - Zero free chips and salsa: we come from a city where any mexican restaurant you go to, you can expect free chips and salsa as though it's a birth-rite, immediately after being seated.
3 - The food is generally quite bland and uninteresting, except for asian food and biscuits. Otherwise, the food is insanely expensive, and is largely tasteless.
4 - The parking ripoffs, everywhere. For example, we were paying 250/month for a surface lot, which was next to an Ethiopian church. As one of the rules for parking in that lot, we had to completely vacate the lot on Sundays, or risk our car being towed. That's right, we paid 250 a month to deal with that nonsense.
5 - The traffic - holy mother of fucking god. EVERYWHERE you go, and it doesn't matter if it's Sunday at 9pm, is a god damned nightmare. I don't believe we had ever gone above 60 in all 9 months we lived there, even if the highway was "clear" and there was no "reason" for traffic to be shitty, it was always shitty.

Part 2 (The real problem of the city, and why we couldn't wait to leave)

1 - It goes without saying, but the people. Bar none. Seattle is the most up-its-own-ass city in America. It's just full of rich autistic tech workers, and when you add that to a generally stand-offish culture, it's insane. There's simply no other way to describe what it's like to "interact" with Seattleites, without seeing it for yourself.
2 - The irony that everyone - and I do mean EVERYONE - complains about hating that city, but will simultaneously defend it, and angrily too. It's the ultimate in cognitive dissonance. Everyone is miserable, everyone will secretly confide to you that it's super shitty in all aspects, but if you as a new person, dare agree, you're literally Hitler.
3 - The utter lack of empathy and regard for others.
4 - My wife and I are very left on the political spectrum, and while it prides itself in being this liberal paradise, it's actually a glimpse into the hyper-capitalist nightmare vision of a dystopian future.
5 - No one, and I mean NO ONE gives a fuck about you, or your life, or where you come from, or anything. No one cares about you in the least. You're a nobody to anybody here. Coming from the Midwest, where the baseline is friendly, it's really hard to connect here, because no one gives a shit about you at all.A cartoon called Bojack Horseman put it best, when talking about LA, but is applicable to Seattle: "LA [Seattle] is a superficial town. No one cares who you are, or where you come from. They only thing they care about is what artisinal nuts they can get on their salad". That line is absolutely one hundred percent applicable to Seattle.
6 - Conversations in Seattle are like two or more people talking - for the lack of a better way of describing it - "towards" each other, not "to" each other. Again, it's really hard to explain in a concrete example. No one is actually talking directly to anyone, it's all sort of sound noises coming out of mouth holes, in the general direction toward another being with ear sound holes. So you'll be around town and in the chance that you hear people talking towards each other, the conversations sound disjointed and disconnected.
7 - The "war on drugs" has taken a definite cease-fire in Seattle. Holy shit, we'd never seen more OD'd people in 9 months than our entire lives in a mid-sized Midwest steel town which is still suffering from NAFTA and the global financial meltdown. People shooting up in the middle of the street in broad daylight. It was stunning to see, and is really depressing and makes you feel helpless and hopeless.
8 - Everyone is concerned about wind power - as long as it's not in the Sound. Everyone's all about caring for the poor - as long as they're over there, tucked away. Everyone's all about being green and living healthy lives, yet they smoke more than any city I've seen, while simultaneously scoffing at you for buying a burger. All around town are signs telling you to not idle your vehicle (which I agree with). But you can walk past any Seattle PD at any time of the day or night, and there are 6 cruisers out front idling all day long. There's just massive hypocrisy everywhere you go.
9 - Finally, there's kind of a funny metaphor about the rich and poor - it's not universally true, but is generally true, and it goes like this. Basically, on the top of most large hills in Seattle, you can expect to find the rich. Guess who you tend to find at the bottoms of these massive hills? The poor. It's a perfect metaphor for the rich looking down on the poor. Again, it's not 100% accurate, but is mostly true.

That's what I can think of for now, but there's far more. We have since moved back and couldn't be happier that we got out.

Posted by Bryan over 1 year ago in Everything - Permalink

Why I moved to Bellingham.

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Seattle lacks culture due to all the neurotic, arrogant, immature, rule obsessed, passive aggressive, conformists who couldn't socialize or drive to save their lives...2 things people from Seattle really suck at are socializing & driving. However, they make up for it by excelling at unwarranted arrogance, passive aggressive immaturity, and ostracism of those who disagree with them or the "group" on the most insignificant of levels. One has to agree with the group 100% to be accepted in Seattle, not 99.9%. The excessive conformity & passive aggressive stupidity combined with the lack of social skills & any common sense has rendered the city of Seattle a large herd of bland boring sheep. I've found much of the state of WA to be like this. Vancouver, WA is one exception. Bellingham, something of an enclave, is another. Group-think does not seem to prevail in Bellingham like it does in Seattle. People in Bellingham can't drive, and they love rules too, but they are DEFINITELY more original, friendly, accepting, and laid back than anywhere else in the state. That's why I moved here, and will stay here...

Posted by Climbhood over 1 year ago in Seattle sociocultural - Permalink

I hate you Seattle

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I hate everything about Seattle. How no one wears color, how no one speaks up if there is a problem- and then whines about it! I hate the Seattle freeze, I hate the bad drivers, I hate how white this damn city is. Seriously, wtf- I have never been around more white people in my life- and they all think they are culturally aware... yet they are all afraid of other ethnicities. Suck it douche bags. You are all conceded. The only people I have met that I actually like- are NOT from Washington State.

I can't wait to leave here. I will never return.

Posted by SuckitSeattle over 1 year ago in Everything - Permalink

Cold, and it's not the weather

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I moved to Seattle a couple months ago because my boyfriend got a job at Amazon (I know, so typical). While there are positives - good pay, great apartment, nice part of town - I'm losing my marbles here.

I can't find a job to save my life. I have a Master's degree and experience and it feels like I'm expected to grovel for low paying entry level positions. Is this city that saturated with the spouses of programmers that there are no jobs left?

And then there's the social scene. *Groan* I've tried volunteering and even that has a wait list in this snotty city. I've never had social anxiety before moving here, but I think it's because it's not imagined - we're all being seriously judged. I feel like people roll their eyes at my SoCal bubbly demeanor, and the fact that I'm wearing color. Why doesn't anybody where color here?

In sum, I've been here for months, can't find a job or make friends and I've never had that happen in all my adult life and all the places I've lived. I feel like I'm turning into one of my cats! Seattle, you're cold and it's not the weather.

Posted by lepanda over 1 year ago in people, freeze, jobs - Permalink

Sneaking back into town

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I suppose it's a good sign when it feels like I'm sneaking back into Seattle so I can arrange for the removal of my stuff to Montréal ...

If I didn't feel this way, I might get confused about my prospects and believe that I could enter into some sort of long negotiation that would inevitably lead to the same outcome, but only after several more years of dealing with all-too-typical Seattle (and Washington) crap.

Don't worry, Seattle denizens: I won't be making much of an effort to drop by and say hello to you lot.

Instead, I'll be making a much more concerted effort to avoid telling as many of you as possible to choke on a bag of Dick's, and that's only because I know the truth ...

Seattle's problem is that it can't eat just one bag of Dick's, and Seattle doesn't feel satisfied until enough Dick's has been consumed to choke a bull rhino.

But I don't want Seattle to choke on all the Dick's it can eat ...

I want Seattle to choke on all of the Dick's that it has.

Posted by Jones almost 2 years ago in - Permalink

Seattle Drivers

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This is actually part of a comment I made to another post:

"Try to drive elsewhere, like you do here. Drive at least 10 mph under the speed limit in the left hand lanes. Exercise good sense & safety by implementing the art of brake checking should someone dare have the gall to follow, what you consider to be too close, while you needlessly drive under the posted limit. Make sure to give other motorists the finger if you don't like the way they're driving....also, make sure to do so immediately as you or they are making a turn. People elsewhere really do admire and respect passive-aggressive douchebaggery. Honk your horn a lot, especially when you feel affronted by other drivers....always let them know about your feelings of self righteous indignation....wear your emotions on your sleeve. These tactics won't only show how cool you actually are, it'll let everyone know you're not someone to be messed with. Not only will everyone love you, but no one will ever try to kick your ass or simply try to kill you. Ever."

It is very strongly recommended that you implement the above strategies particularly in CA, TX, FL, NY, Chicago, Atlanta, & Phoenix.

Posted by Climbhood almost 2 years ago in Advice for driving in other cities. - Permalink

you are all too nice

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Everyone on this website is being too nice calling people here "passive aggressive" or "socially retarded." I think what most people mean to say is that Seattle is full of cunts. I've lived in almost all areas of the U.S. and lots of different towns and cities. I thought people were pretty much the same no matter where you go. Then I moved to Seattle... If you like shitty humans and every variety of white-people-douchebaggery, Seattle is your spot. Turd city.

Posted by james almost 2 years ago in - Permalink

My 1 year anniversary moving away from Shiteattle

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It's been one year since I moved away and I have ZERO regrets. Best move ever. I went to Plano,Texas. Why you ask? Well Texas also has no state income tax. Think of Bellevue Square, full of tech companies and shopping districts like what you would find in Lincoln Square and University Village but better! http://shopsatlegacy.com , so it's not just about Applebees and cheese sticks you fuckin goon.

Texas has it's own faults but not as flawed as King/Snoh County. I am a much much more positive person these days. I have access to roads, native foods, and all the same bullshit that Seattle brags about and MUCH more. I still hit the trader Joes nearby without having to take a half day off to reach it in the muck.

My utilities are half the cost compared to WM. Trash/water/sewer bills that would give me unpredictable shock every month are now acceptable. My utilities are 68.00 for two months of recycling and trash PLUS water/sewer included!!! (they aren't nitpicky about recylcing here, containers are not priced by the size and BOTH are picked up weekly). I have modern amenities like central heat and air and roads that are fast, efficient, and well maintained. Texas does have toll roads but they also have parallel two lane access roads if you don't want to pay a toll. I am okay with tolls if it felt like getting value for it.

The drivers here are much much more aggressive, but it's for speed, not for being passive aggressive dicks. If you are not stepping on the gas or going 85 in a 75, they will let you know about it. Not just 1 dick driver, but all of them and it helps get that lazy driver to get in the right lane.

If I need furniture, there's Nebraska Furniture Mart in the colony about the size of 5 football fields, fresh restaurants, authentic mexican joints like Hacienda Ranch (which invented the frozen margarita), and it's just a refreshing pleasant place to be despite what you view and read in the news.

One of the most disgusting things I hated about Seattle metro was the gas stations. Cramped, dark, antiquated service pumps. Just really ghetto with nothing convenient about them. Always felt like I needed a tetanus shot. Always seemed like you would have to go inside these shitty stations to use the "outhouse" on the inside. You know, gang signs, non functional sinks, borrow a key. Like the backwoods you see in movies. Here in Texas, we have QuikTrip, RaceTrac, and Bucees. QT offers made to order kitchens, I think RaceTrac does too, and Bucees is very famous for going above and beyond for having clean restrooms and other treats they make in-house.

Grocery stores here are similar to Seattle. We have Tom Thumb (Safeway), Kroger (Fred Meyer), and Trader Joes. But in addition, there's not one but several Trader Joes and Whole Foods. But my all time favorite is Market St. They actually make some decent take home foods in their deli that rival making it at home. My tastes are Whole Foods style but price conscious and they definitely meet that requirement. Just very FRESH and with a smile. They don't have racks to stick the cart in, as they insist on taking the cart out for you and taking it back 100% of the time. Each time I've gone grocery shopping minding my own business (because that's what Seattle instills in you), I always get someone striking up a joke about the produce or ideas on what they plan to make that night, or the hard to open produce bags and smiles all around. None of this passive aggressive bullshit I had for 8 years.

To that asshole "HarryWang", ohh that's so original. Anyway, some Seattle coworkers came for their 1st visit and they LOVED it and can't wait to come back. So fuck you if you think it's all about "Applebees" you one dimensional piece o shit. If everywhere else was sooooooooo shitty, why is Toyota and Kubota relocating their headquarters to north Texas? Yeah, exactly your blinded jealousy has you sounding like a 3 year old who won't share.

In the week these coworkers visited, we went to Top Golf and Dave and Busters. Top Golf is a full serve facility and they kissed our ass to make our visit enjoyable. You NEVER saw service like that in Seattle. Yeah D&B is a chain, but at least it's variety that you can choose or NOT choose to participate in. In Seattle, it was just one dimensional shit like teriyaki and dive bars serving the same over rated Red Hook. Where's your precious Boom Noodle? Ohh it closed. Where's your other dive joints that can't seem to stick around more than a year?!!

That's my random experiences so far which has been terrific and I would encourage those who think they are "stuck", to start packing. Take the negative "why don't you leave?" mentality from these damp hillbilly tards and act on it on YOUR terms. Why stick in a shitty damp region that hates you and has the customer service skills of a disgruntled postal worker? Anywhere is better than PNW.

Posted by SeattleTrash almost 2 years ago in YES! Winning! Seattle blows chunks! - Permalink

"Seattle Reset", the follow-up

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I've realised that the best "Seattle Reset" is the one that gets you on a plane and your stuff on a moving truck out of Seattle.

I've been looking at international removals companies who can get my belongings out of Seattle.

Instead of hoping for a situation that would let someone else pay for the removals, I'm going to pay the costs myself.

I may be slightly skint for a while, but the end result will be worth it.

I am greatly looking forward to handing out "pink slips" to some of Seattle's individuals and businesses.

Seattle, you're fired ...

... and it feels absolutely wonderful to get to a point where I can finally say that.

Posted by Jones almost 2 years ago in Going Trump on Seattle, Seattle needs a collective wedgie, "Seattle Reset" yourself out of Seattle - Permalink

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Seattle Sucks and here is why.
Hateful people.
People who never smile.
People here always seem mean.
No one ever seems happy here.
Lots of bullies here.
Lots of F**ked up people here with weird
neurotic hang-ups.
People here lack ANY social skills, I almost want to ask "Didn't you learn anything while you were with Mom & Dad"? Socially retarded is the word.
And last but certainly not least?
People here seem really clingy!
needy too.
It is for all of these reasons that I'm trying to get a career where I can travel & FREQUENTLY or perhaps relocate.
Seattle is AWFUL!
And so are it's retarded natives.

Posted by Yogi almost 2 years ago in Seattle Sucks - Permalink

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