Seattle
Here's why you shouldn't move to Seattle:
1) It reeks of the flatulence of its own people. People here, and I think Sullen Son pointed towards this, like the smell of what emits from their own colon. This is a city for festering egos and big-dick competitions. Seattleites are the most narrow-minded "open minded" people I've ever come across. Supposedly Seattle is liberal, forward-thinking, and progressive. In reality, all people try to do is shit their ideology into your mouth - of course via email - (generally something along the lines of veganism, the evils of paper bags, the sanctity of the fish in Puget Sound, or hypothetically "saving" Darfur) and then put in their headphones when you question them. But that's assuming you have......
2) Person- to Person Interaction, a rarity in Seattle. Expect at least 1-2 years before breaking through with a single person. Seatteites use their computers for just about everything and anything: social needs, interpersonal needs, sexual needs, bodily functions. Expect such things as setting up dates or meetings, only to find a message in your inbox an hour before the date saying that they have to visit their aunt urgently. Also, you will ridiculed, shat on, and maybe even fired online, by people who you see everyday in person. Seattleites won't mention this cyber world in person, however. Also, if you ever try to penetrate its non-existent dating scene, good luck, because....
3) There is nothing to do. No, there isn't. There is nothing to do. That's why most long-term Seattlites have turned to drugs or alcoholism, or have gotten the fuck out of Seattle. The only thing to do after 7pm is eat at a handful of so-so restaurants, or rent a movie. Most coffee shops close at 6. The bars are pathetic. After 9pm, the city becomes a dark, misty, Wild-West ghost town, inhabited mainly by intoxicated Native Americans muttering something about Custer. (Well, that's downtown. The U-District after 9 consists entirely of the yelps of Frat boys and people bellowing outside of bars about how their life sucks). Speaking of the bar-scene....
4) Don't go to them. The bars suck too. Females: and attractive ones at that, don't expect to get talked to. The men here, as well as the women for that matter, have perpetually reduced libido. A pretty asexual city. People don't go to bars here to socialize with anyone other than the people they originally came with. Also, females - the only passes ever made at you will likely be from slimey Microsoft employees who expect a blowjob because they make 6 figures. And males: don't ever expect real interaction from a female in Seattle, outside of fakeness and pleasantries. Seattle women are on a whole, frigid, sexually repressed, and, for lack of a better word, cunts. That reminds me...
5) The city is one big high school cafeteria, where emotionally undeveloped people throw sandwiches at one another. And when I say people I mean monkeys, and when I say sandwiches I mean feces. I've often likened Seattle an enormous poo-flinging competition between socially dysfunctional people. It's a weird sort of phenomenon. Come here for a year and you will know exactly what I mean.
There is so much more, but it's not worth energy thinking about it.
To Summarize, the 3 tenants of Seattle:
-West Coast Laziness
-Nordic Reserve
-Germanic Law Enforcement