In this post I will try my best to avoid delving deeply into a cathartic, repetative, and rage filled tirade about the painfully obvious flaws typical of the scum fuck shit stain "people" and the problems surrounding them, who inhabit this region. I would simply like some opinions. Is there any real solution for living amongst the masses of these insular, provincial, narcissistic, bad mannered, FAKE, lemming, entitled, coddled, pansy ass yuppy FUCKS? Or is the only real solution to simply pack up and leave to let these dipshits masturbate to themselves in the mirror, fully outfitted in their tour de france biking gear? It's hard to believe that masses of transplants have the financial means or ability to move here, get settled in, and quickly thereafter be able to spend another small fortune to get the fuck out of this god forsaken place once reality sets in. What do those of you with financial or occupational obligations (that come from the civilized world where people have manners, are GENUINE, say please and thank you, think freely, and know how to drive) do to endure and thrive in this necrotic purgatory known as the northwest? Especially without becoming exactly like these classless meth breath, trustafarian, hipster, dip shits, or another BORING fat ass pretentious bbq stained faced football worshiping mongoloid? Is there any solution other than being forced to leave for your own mental health and quality of life? Or must you conform, and bow before the almighty "emerald city" and its blissful and proud inbred populous to endure this beautiful soggy hell?
Posts tagged with "hipsters"
I've lived in Seattle for almost a year. I thought it was nice to see more rain because I moved here from Phoenix. Making new friends on the other hand is difficult. I noticed how selfish some people are and the amount of obnoxious chicks around here. Whenever I have a conversation with a person, they don't have a clue what I am saying. I'm just going to list some things that annoys the hell out of me about Seattle.
1. The amount of swagfags here.
Ok, I've hung out with some "swagfags" when I lived in Phoenix. They seem pretty ok and they seem much more mature than every single swagfag I've came across here. I'm just disgusted by the amount of idiot stereotypical swagfag there is here. Every time I do something silly like tripping over something and adding hot sauce to a lot of food I eat when I am around people, they yell YOLO. Ok. People, stop this shit. People in Seattle try to be so mainstream and cool as possible it gets annoying.. They over do it a lot. I seriously never have seen that much of that annoying crap when I lived in Phoenix. Dear people of Seattle, stop trying so damn hard. You're not cool, you're annoying.
Me being an adult, this is like junior high all over again. As mentioned before, I hung out with some nice "swagfags" when I lived in Phoenix. I am a die hard metal head who is open to all types of music except rap. When I lived in Phoenix, we all hung out with everyone in high school. I hung out with scene kids, white wannabe gangsters, metal heads, EVERYONE... I don't even care what they dress like, they don't seem to be as stereotypical. But hey, I really don't mind being a loner and a outcast here.. I honestly can't wait to move back to Phoenix where the sun always shines and people like to be around each other more. I guess it's like one of those drama Disney TV shows where you have to do some stupid complex initiation to be "cool" in order for people to like you... Even when you're an adult. It was not like that when I was in high school a year ago. Every time I'm with a group, they like to leave others out. They're always just sitting here texting their boyfriends/girlfriends or there's always several girls talking to a group of boys. Ok, see this person being left out? Go fucking include them. Stop staring at the damn phone and talking to a bunch of boys, it's very rude. When ever I include my self I get left out, as usual. Damn, I remember when I'm always around a bunch of friends when I lived in Phoenix but now it's so dull.
I have never in my life seen so many tweakers in Seattle... I thought south Phoenix was bad.
4. Mainstream music.
People here are so narrow minded when it comes to music. All I see here are Gangnam Style fags. What is the point of that song and that stupid dance? Is it about having sex with a fucking horse or something? I guess fucking a horse is some initiation to be hip and "cool" around here.
5. People are as negative as the weather.
All of us Seattle outsiders notice this a lot. You can't look at someone in the eye without them accusing you of something. Every time I go to the store/leave the store and I see someone closely walking behind me going the same way I'm going, I ALWAYS hold the door open for that person. (if there is no automatic doors) Holding the door for someone is just a natural thing I do. The person I hold the door open for most of the time look at me as if I'm going to stalk them or give me the wtf eye. I guess it's a crime to have common sense and politeness.
6. Over exaggeration.
I hear this from every local who talks about snow.. When it snows, people freak out. The Schools shut down, drivers go nuts and people stock up on canned food... For what? Not even a inch of snow that doesn't even stick very long. Hell, there's hardly any harsh weather in Seattle.
Summer in Spokane/Eastern Washington. Ok, those of you Seattleites/local Western Washington state people who visit Eastern Washington in the Summer.. 80-85 degrees is not scorching hot. Try visiting Phoenix during the Summer. Stop bitching and whining how hot it is in East Washington as if it's the hottest place ever. Honestly, it feels like Spring time to me and the weather in East Washington during the Summer is beautiful.
Ok, that's the end of my rant.
My health had been piss poor: high blood pressure, cortisol & stress-based weight gain (50+ lbs), seasonal affective depression, frequent infections and respiratory illness, sleep disorders, insomnia, hyposomnia, and a general malaise of waking up each day wanting to jump into oncoming traffic. Having lived in several climates and states throughout the U.S., there was something unique about Puget Sound that turned me into a Kafkaesque "fly" and a mere shade of who I've been elsewhere.
Everyone blamed me for the transformation---you're not trying hard enough; you need to improve your attitude; you aren't meeting the right people; you're a lazy indigant who brought this on yourself; you need to get more exercise; you need to change your diet (which was already borderline vegan); you need to take responsibility for your actions. It turns out, I just needed to get the flying fuck out of Seattle!
I had the chance to escape Seattle for over a month this past June. It took me about a week to feel normal again after 8 months of no sunlight or normal human interaction, but once I was getting a daily dose of Vitamin D and genuinely friendly people, I couldn't believe the difference. I lost 25 pounds; my shitty mood and hopeless despair was gone; I was sleeping normally again; my blood pressure lowered; my stress escaped; it was over!
Words can't begin to describe the feeling of the golden rule among normal socialized people. Waitresses and shop keepers were friendly and polite without a hint of phoniness; strangers actually waved at me and smiled; everyone I encountered didn't make me feel like I was a shit stain in their way. I felt inspired like a Phoenix to do something different and finally find the courage and resources to make a permanent change, never to return to the moldy bog of Seattle hypocrisy and bullshit.
Unfortunately, I had to return. I distinctly remember the dread of having to drive back over the Cascades into Western Washington. There was a distinct energy shift I felt envelop my car as I approached the rain. Sunny and beautiful in Central Washington, once I passed over the mountains and into Bothell I was immediately irritated---this was, after all, July. Rain was pouring from the low-lying clouds cocooning the city in its own shit, airplanes flying overhead every 30 seconds dusting lead onto the streets and buildings, drivers were oblivious to one another narrowly avoiding an accident at every stop light, and it was all I could do to make it back to my apartment building in one piece without spontaneously exploding all over my steering wheel. The negativity I was fending off consumed so much energy I almost snapped.
Entering the elevator, I smelled that dank marina air mixed with dog piss, mold, and homeless urine (mind you, I live in an upscale condominium). The lady inside glared at me, turned up her nose, and proceeded to flip through her new p.o.s. Windows phone. We've lived in the same building together for over 2 years, and I've yet to exchange a simple hello with this woman. Dog hair and piss was all over the hallway carpet, which obviously hadn't been cleaned weekly, and coming back "home" was completely dreadful. My apartment felt long overdue for some burning sage and an energy cleansing.
In the time that has passed, my irritation has exponentially increased. Every single human interaction I witness is fucked up. Comparing it to the real world outside this bog, the utter selfishness, hypocrisy, and childish antics of the 20 somethings on Capitol Hill is maddening. Going to downtown, Bellevue, Ballard, Queen Anne, or the suburbs makes absolutely no difference---the people of Seattle are the most fucked up husks I have ever encountered in my entire life.
Between starting every sentence with "like" or twinging their way through some "laid-back" bad ass hipster swagger, the homeless people asking you for money 3x in a single block's distance, or the smug bitchiness of the "elites" thinking they're more important than they are, I've never met such pathologically selfish people; I simply can't take it anymore.
Last night I went to QFC to get some late night groceries and was rammed by 3 different girls in a 3 block radius. One was too busy screaming and giggling behind a pair of sunglasses (at 1 AM), slamming my shoulder nearly knocking me into the street as she ran past. "YOU STUPID BITCH," I yelled. She didn't even look back. The second was a group of homeless looking "homies" savaging their way out of the Block Party---which for an environmentally friendly place of environmentally conscious people was fucking disgusting---again who hit me as she walked past. "Really?! Really?! How about you lay of the potatoes you dummie." I snapped and yelled she should "lay off the cock you stupid whore!" All her "braws" that were thinking of coming to beat my ass swiftly turned around and walked the other way once they sensed they were no match for me. People love to start shit in Seattle, but the minute you stand up to them and call them on their bullshit, they back down like the conflict-avoidant losers they are. No one has a fucking spine here. If the Chinese ever invaded, the red carpet would be rolled out quicker than the French conceding Paris to Hitler.
The final straw was when I went up to my roof for a drink to look out over the downtown. Was I going to miss this view? Not really. I've seen much better---there's no history, everything is new and poorly constructed, and the sound is so polluted you can't even see the mountains. The people here are so immature and injuriously irritating the claims of no pollution and "progressive" politic are completely unfounded. I'm sipping on my drink when I hear some girl say "fuck off" out of a shadowy corner. Some pubescent looking boy comes out into the light, putting his pants back on, and starts to apologize for his whore's rude behavior. Turning up her nose and storming to the elevator like a petulant brat, I confront her on the bad behavior---"Fuck off? Are you saying this to me? Really, bitch?! Do you even live here?! Who the fuck do you think you are?!" My blood began to boil as the emaciated, pasty little dude tried to calm my nerves. Apparently I had interrupted these transients attempting to fuck on the roof of a place they didn't even live. As a public space, and as a person who pays way too much to live there, the single solitary space I enjoy in this god-forsaken city has now been polluted by some narcissistic skank.
Of course, she left her little sunflower hippie purse and had to return a few minutes later. Who leaves their purse on the floor next to a garbage can? I guess the same kind of declasse philistine who tells people to fuck off because they interrupt their fuck sessions (again, I didn't even see anyone up there). She claimed that I had been looking in her direction, which attempted to justify her behavior. "It was rude and unnecessary. You're a guest in this building, so don't come up to my roof and start telling me to fuck off when you have no business being here in the first place." All the blood ran out of her face, and she was incapable of defending herself, in part because there was nothing to defend; she knew she fucked up. Instead of apologizing, which I would have been cool with, she kept up the attitude. Turning her nose up, because this conflict was not going in her favor, she stormed off to the elevator. I said that she shouldn't start some shit if she doesn't know how to finish it, to which (of course) there was no response. If this happened in New York, I would have at least gotten a middle finger as she entered the elevator. Really, girl? Really?
I am so glad I am getting the fuck out of this place. The hypocrisy, selfishness, immaturity, and bad energy of this town speaks for itself. All the advertising going into Microsoft, UW, and the large corporations declaring themselves world class institutions are absolutely fraudulent. It doesn't matter the socioeconomic status, education level, or etiology of the people that live in Seattle---the narcissistic defense mechanisms, phony politeness, and memetic "freeze" behavior absolutely ruins it. There is nothing redeemable about this god damn town. This is the "best" time of year with "world-class" weather, and the people are still so god damn irritating all my health problems are returning after only a couple weeks back. I hope it all falls down in an earthquake, quickly buried by the radioactive Pacific.
If you are thinking of moving here: DON'T. You'll wake up from a vacation somewhere else wondering why the fuck you wasted those years in such a miserable place, surrounded by even more miserable, provincial, solipsistic, hypocritical people. Yes, Seattle, you're a bunch of fucking losers. You deserve the karma coming your way (even though you're already radioactive).
Fuck this place!
Who am I to rag on a hipster? Their style is just as valid as any other style. Even more valid, in my mind, than the "urban" fashion of drug dealers and street kids. Not that it's beyond a hipster to sell drugs. I've known many who do. But they do so within their chosen circle, and people who they deem cool, instead of the general public.
The hipster is just a guy or gal who is keepin with the times. I, myself, dress rather blandly. I wear jeans and given the transition to colder seasons, a sweater or a henley, with an Eddie Bauer jacket. It looks nice, buts not eye catching. I, also, wouldn't wear skinny jeans. They look uncomfortable and girly. But hey, to each their own, right?
Hipsters drink PBR, yeah I get it. It's cheap beer being drunk by trust fundies. Hey, but at least they're saving money. Nothing ironic about that. That's how they will maintain their wealth. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe they are trying to relate to the common man? It's a political statement.
So, who am I to make fun of hipsters? Well, even though I can, sarcastically, see their point of view, I make fun of hipsters because it NEEDS to happen. We need to point out these contradictions and flaws in the hipsters identity. This will help the hipster grow, develop humor, and learn perspective. As a matter a fact, I'm game to having my nonsense pointed out as well. I might not like it at first, but I usually appreciate it in the long run.
Beer brands and clothing style are just the tip of the iceberg. We need to dissect these fuckers souls. Maybe, eventually, this whole hipster fad will pass like a fart cloud.
Have you picked on a hipster today?
I came to Seattle from a small town to attend college at UW. I did my best to like this place. I tried to fit in and be a Seattleite. In the end, I just couldn't and I will be leaving for beautiful San Antonio in about a year.
1. The weather. It is currently an afternoon in late April. It's currently 43 degrees and drizzling outside. It's been more or less like this since about the middle of September of last year. It's going to be like this for another two months. Sometime in early July, the sun will come out and the temperature will get about 70 for a few weeks. The locals will immediately start complaining about the heat, of course. After these few wonderful sunshiny weeks, the dark depressing drizzle will start again and envelop Seattle in a shroud for about 10 months. The locals always say how there is so much to do here outdoors. The window to do anything outdoors is basically July and August. Have you ever tried to go hiking sometime in the fall? I have and it's absolutely miserable. Fishing? Miserable. Jogging? Miserable. Barbecuing? Miserable. It's like constantly living in a damp moldy basement. The locals themselves don't do anything outdoors either. I've never seen so many adult World of Warcraft players in my life. The whole "outdoorsy Seattle person" is really just a myth.
2. The people. I have not made one friend who is actually from the Seattle area. My girlfriend is from Nevada, my best friend is from Chicago, and I'm friends with people from California, Texas, and a few other places. I can not name one native Seattleite who I am friends with. And it's not due to a lack of trying. Only in Seattle can a guy invite 20 people to a backyard barbecue only to have 1 person show up. The people here are very insular and unfriendly. Every time I try to be friendly to someone, they get this terrified look on their face or try to avoid making eye contact with me. I've noticed this more times than I can count. What is the deal with people not making eye contact? The only people who I seem to be able to have normal conversations with are non-native Seattleites or the weird hobos who hang out in downtown. People here are more content with living in their own little world and not even making an attempt at human connection.
3. The people. Yes, I know I have mentioned Seattle people before. But it is just so difficult to describe the people here to someone who doesn't live here.
Your typical Seattle guy: mid 20's - mid 30's, white, pale, scuzzy unkept beard, about 50 pounds underweight, thick rimmed glasses, man bag, works either as a techie, an artist, or for some non-profit, liberal, doesn't travel much outside of Seattle, poor hygiene, wears hiking gear year round, always has a smug "I'm superior to you" attitude, has a Sociology/Art History/Comparative History of Ideas degree from the UW, rides bike to work, no social skills whatsoever,
Your typical Seattle woman: mid 20's - mid 30's, white, pale, about 100 lbs overweight, works as an artist, for some non-profit, or as a secretary, doesn't travel outside of Seattle much, poor hygiene, wears hiking gear year round, smug bitch-like attitude, has a Women's Studies/[Insert name of ethnic group] Studies/Art History/ other bullshit degree from the uw, lack of social skills.
A couple observations about people here: Seattle is very much a group-think kind of town. Any diversity of opinion is not welcome here. Seattleites will be pleasant to you as long as you agree with them about everything. Seattleites don't handle ideas other than their own very well. The moment an idea different from their own viewpoint slips out of your mouth, they will either shun you or they will throw a hissy fit. (As in, they start yelling and screaming and swearing at you) You have no idea how many grown adults I've seen throw hissy fits around here.
Wow, it feels good to get that off my chest. I'll probably return later on with some stories of my adventures in Seattle or should I sate Shitattle.
I'm guilty.. I felt so good knowing this site existed.
I read on someone's other post about someone telling them about this OH-SO-COOL thing they found in some obscure book they borrowed. I can totally relate ... I am pretty sure I am stereotyping but there is this hipster kid I know:
Last year, he was one of my many room mates in the dorms, I went in his room to randomly talk to him and he started telling me about this strange fly that used to exist solely in Washington. Or something to that extent.
At first, I was just like, "why are you telling me this?" in my head. It seemed so trivial and ... unworthy of hearing. I mean maybe I asked him about the book he was holding but the moment he started talking about it, Dear God.
Another thing that confuses me is this fine evening we're having today. It's actually nice outside... I'm fucking confused. I have this feeling that God is just playing a trick on me or going to make it snow tomorrow.