I Hate Seattle

So I've seen many discussions on city-data.com and other places about the "Seattle Freeze", meaning that people here are so overwhelmingly nice, but just won't make close friendships. It's continually emphasized how politeness is supposed to be a core part of the Seattle character (unlike "out east" which as we all know from listening to the descriptions of Seattleites is some sort of post-apocalyptic dystopia awash with violence and cruelty at every turn).

However, I haven't observed politeness in Seattle people at all.

Let's see, where should I start.... Whenever I come across a neighbor in my apartment building I always give them a warm hello. 90% of the time they just continue to stare at their feet while breathing through their mouths. Once in a while I might get an unintelligible grunting noise. I guess that counts as a greeting in Seattle-speak? One fellow was so distraught that I made a casual mention about the current weather condition that he literally slammed his shoulder hard against the elevator door because he couldn't get out fast enough.

Then if I walk out onto the street, there is usually at least one pile of dog crap on the sidewalk. I guess "polite" people like leaving messes for others to step in? And as was mentioned already on other threads, while trying to walk anywhere people have a real penchant for plowing right into you even if they have the rest of the sidewalk to use. Bicyclists are, of course, too busy saving the earth to have any consideration for inconsequential things like laws or pedestrians.

And then there are the drivers.... Well, there have already been so many threads about how terrible Seattle drivers are that I don't feel the need to reiterate, but in the context of politeness it's pretty obvious that Northwesterners sure as hell don't give a shit about the well-being of anyone else around them when they are behind the wheel.

Customer service? Don't even get me started. It is just so obviously and consistently worse here than anywhere else I have ever lived or visited. I've never had so many people who I was trying to give money to treat me like shit.

The only place I've seen anything vaguely resembling politeness in the Northwest is Portland, but there is still a stiff, forced demeanor about it, like an 8-year-old who knows they have to smile and say "please" and "thank you" only because their parents are standing right behind them. It comes across as insincere and fake, but at least they're making some sort of effort, I suppose.

So anyway, is there some special place or time I need to go to in order to observe Seattle politeness? Like only on the second Thursday of month in Magnolia when the stars and planets are aligned in some magical way? I would seriously like to know. I am very much looking forward to my first experience with Seattle politeness.